Dead Man's Booty Call

Three nurses working in a morgue discover a dead man with a hard on, the 1st Nurse says, "I can't let that go to waste," and rides him.  The 2nd Nurse does the same. The 3rd Nurse hesitates and explains she's on her period, but does him anyway. To their surprise the man sits up, wide awake. The Nurses apologize saying they thought he was dead. The man replies, "I was, but after two jump starts and a blood transfusion I feel frickin great!"

Visiting Grandma

Mommy, mommy, I don't want to visit grandma today! "Shut up and keep digging, boy."

Shrimp in a Dead Woman

There were these two guys working late in a morgue, when one guy said, "Hey man there is a woman in there with a shrimp in her vagina!" The other asked, "What is a shrimp doing a dead woman's vagina? Let me go see." Both of them went in the room with the woman, and they both curiously looked. Finally, the second man said, "You idiot, this ain't no shrimp it's a clitoris." And the other man replied, "Well, it tasted like shrimp to me."