Frozen Theater -Riddles

Q: Did you hear about the blonde couple that were found frozen to death in their car at a drive-in movie theater?
A: They went to see ''Closed for the Winter.''

Three Morticians

There were three morticians talking about their greatest feats. The first one says, "I had this soldier who stepped on a land mine. Took me three days to get him ready for an open casket funeral!" The next guy says, "Oh yeah? I had this construction worker fall 15 stories, then he got run over by a steam roller, but I had him ready for an open casket funeral in two days!" The third guy sulks in the corner, "Man. both y'all got me beat. I had this lady parachutist who landed on the empire state building. It took me four days just to get the grin off her face."

Looking For Anya

After WWII, two Poles returned to their destroyed village to locate the first one's wife. Going through the rubble, Victor came across a dismembered arm and called over, "Hey, Stanley, wasn't this Anya's arm? I think this is the wristwatch you gave her." "I dunno, Victor," said Stanley, and they continued the search. A little while later, Victor came across a severed leg. "Stanley, couldn't this be part of Anya? She had great legs." Stanley shrugged and they walked on. Finally the energetic Victor came across a woman's head, which he held out at arm's length for his friend's inspection. "Nope," said Stanley at last. "Anya was a lot taller."