Don't Jump

A desperate looking woman stood poised on the edge of a Rail-Road trestle, about to jump off. An old homeless bloke who was wandering by stopped and said, "Look, since you'll be dead in a few minutes, and it won't matter to you, how about a quickie before you go?"
She screamed, "NO!  Get away, you dirty old man!"
He shrugged and turned away saying, "Okay then, I'll just go and wait at the bottom."

Hard Times

Funeral homes are forever getting stiffed.

Frozen Theater -Riddles

Q: Did you hear about the blonde couple that were found frozen to death in their car at a drive-in movie theater?
A: They went to see ''Closed for the Winter.''