The last heir of the Smith Brothers cough drop empire recently died.
There'll be no coffin at his funeral.
The Sick Coffin
A funeral procession was winding it's way to the cemetery on top of the hill outside town, when the hearse hit a bump. The coffin was bumped loose, fell out onto the road and began sliding back toward town down a steep hill. It slid faster and faster. Finally, it reached the town and was skidding its way down Main St. when suddenly, at one intersection, the coffin hit a curb, flew onto the sidewalk, smashed through the front glass window of the pharmacy, and slammed up against the prescription counter. The lid popped off, the corpse sat up and said, "You got anything to stop this coffin?"
A man tried to sell me a coffin today.
I told him that was the last thing I needed.
Difference Between Condom and Coffin
Q: What's the difference between a condom and a coffin?
A: You come in one and you go in the other!
My uncle complained to me that I never visited him and that the next time I saw him he would be in a coffin.
Jokes on him.
He was in an urn.