Dark Humor Jokes

If you love to laugh at the jokes that shock and disgust most people, then you have found your Graceland! ROFL with these deplorable wise cracks about death, incest, domestic violence and more!

Good Choice!

There were three guys, a Torontonian, an American and a Newfoundlander. They were all going to be executed. The executioner said that since all three were to be executed that night that they would each get to choose the method by which they would die. The choices were:  lethal injection, electric chair or by hanging. The American was afraid of needles and didn't want to be hanged so he chose the electric chair.  He sat in the chair and when they pulled the switch and nothing happened. The executioner said that if this happened a second time that he could go free. They tried a second time and again nothing happened so they set him free. The Torontonian was also afraid of needles and didn't want to be hanged so he too chose the electric chair.  Once again, the chair didn't work and he was free. Next it was the Newfies turn. He said, "I'm afraid of needles and the electric chair won't work so I pick hanging."

Categories: Ethnic / Country Jokes , Dark Humor Jokes (Death Jokes)
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Whiskey and MJ

Q: What does a good whiskey have in common with Michael Jackson?
A: It's also a seven-year-old liquor.

Categories: Pop Culture / Celebrity Jokes , Dark Humor Jokes (Pedophile Jokes) , Funny Thoughts , Sex Jokes (Oral Sex Jokes) , Sex Jokes (Private Parts) , Riddles
Anonymous

Tim Kelly Run-In

Tim Kelly was walking through a dim passageway when someone spoke to him. "Good evenin', Kelly," said to the muffled figure. "Don't ye be knowin' your old friend Grogan any more?" Kelly stared at Grogan, whose face was a patchwork of bandages and adhesive plaster. One arm was in a sling and he was leaning on a crutch. "Saints!" cried Kelly. "Was ye hit by a train, Grogan, or did ye merely jump from the trestle?" "It could've been both," said Grogan, "considerin' the feel of it. But the truth is, I was in bed with Murphy's wife when Murphy himself comes in with a murtherin' big shillelagh in his hand, and the inconsiderate creature beat the livin' bejazus outa me." "He did indade," said Kelly. "But couldn't ye defend y'rself, Grogan? Hadn't ye nothin' in your own hand?" "Only Mrs. Murphy's ass," said Grogan. "It's a beautiful thing in itself, but not worth a dom in a fight."

Categories: Sex Jokes (One Night Stand Jokes) , Redneck Jokes (Hillbilly Jokes) , Dark Humor Jokes
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous