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The best jokes and joke writers!

The Yelp

A man notices a small boy wearing a fireman’s hat, sitting in a cart being pulled by his pet dog. When he gets closer he notices that the cart is tied to the dog’s testicles . “That’s a nice fire engine,” says the man. “But wouldn’t the dog pull faster if you tied the rope to his collar?” “Yes,” says the boy. “But then I wouldn’t have a siren.”

House of Prostitution Fire

A guy goes to a house of prostitution. He selects a girl, pays her $200 up front, and he gets undressed. She's about to take off her sheer blue negligee, when the fire alarms rings! She runs out of the room, with his $200 still in her hand. He quickly grabs his clothes and runs out after her. He's searching the building, but the smoke gets too heavy, so he runs outside looking for her. By this time, the firemen are there. He sees one of them and asks, "Did you see a beautiful blonde, in a sheer blue negligee, with $200 in her hand?" The fireman says, "No!"
The guy then says, "Well if you see her, screw her. It's paid for."

Go Away

I can't stand those interfering people who bang on your door and tell you how you need to be "saved" or you'll "burn"... 

Fucking firemen.

Light Bulb - Firemen

Q: How many firemen does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Four, one to change the bulb and three to cut a hole in the roof.

Dowsing Dalmation

Q: Why do firemen bring a Dalmatian with them when they go to a fire?

A: To help them find the fire hydrant.