Childcare

When you were a child, your mother wanted to hire someone to take care of you, but the Mafia wanted too much.

Wittle Wabbit

A little girl walks into a pet shop and asks in the sweetest little lisp: "Excuthe me, mithter, do you keep wittle wabbits?" And the shopkeeper gets down on his knees, so that he's on her level, and asks: "Do you want a wittle white wabby or a soft and fuwwy bwack wabby or maybe one like that cute wittle bwown wabby over there?" The little girl puts her hands on her knees, leans forward and says in a quiet voice: "I don't fink my pyfon really giveths a thit."

Princess Diana On The Radio

Q: Did you hear Princess Diana was on the radio?
A: Yep, and on the window, and on the dashboard...