25 Irish Dancers

Q: Did you hear about the 25 Irish people that drowned?
A: They were river dancing.

Smelling the Last Supper

As Sam laid on his death bed, his wife and children gathered around him. Suddenly, the aroma of chopped liver filled the room. Sam perked up a bit and said to his wife, "That's it, one last time before I die, I must have some of your delicious chopped liver!" Sam's wife sheepishly looked at him sadly and said, "Sorry Sam, it's for after."

Wittle Wabbit

A little girl walks into a pet shop and asks in the sweetest little lisp: "Excuthe me, mithter, do you keep wittle wabbits?" And the shopkeeper gets down on his knees, so that he's on her level, and asks: "Do you want a wittle white wabby or a soft and fuwwy bwack wabby or maybe one like that cute wittle bwown wabby over there?" The little girl puts her hands on her knees, leans forward and says in a quiet voice: "I don't fink my pyfon really giveths a thit."