Pop Culture / Celebrity Jokes
Yo Mama - Freddy Krueger
Yo mama so ugly, she gives Freddy Krueger nightmares!
Yo Mama - One Direction
Your momma is so ugly she made One Direction go another direction.
Potential and Realistic
A boy asks his dad, “What’s the difference between potential and realistic?” The dad tells him to go ask the rest of his family if they’d sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars, and then he’d tell him the answer. The boy goes up to his mom and asks her. She responds, “A million dollars is a lot of money sweetheart. I could send you, your sister, and your brother to great colleges, so sure, I would!” He then goes and asks his sister to which she replies, “Brad Pitt? Hell ya, he’s the hottest guy ever!” Next, the boy asks his brother who replies, “A million dollars? Hell yes I would. I’d be rich!” When the boy excitedly returns to his dad with the family’s responses, the dad says, “Well son, potentially, we have three million dollars. Realistically, we have two sluts and a queer.”
Impatient and Annoyed
According to George Costanza, one should also always try to look impatient and annoyed to give your bosses the impression that you are always busy.
Q: What's the difference between a black man and Batman?
A: Batman can go inside a store without Robin.