Q: How can you tell if a blonde is a good cook?
A: She gets the pop tart out of the toaster in one piece.
Q: What does a blonde do after waking up?
A1: Go Home.
A2: Introduce herself to the guy on the bed.
Puddle in the Corner
A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette are riding in an elevator, when they see a small puddle in the corner. The brunette looks at it. ''That's definitely cum,'' she says. The redhead touches it. ''That's definitely cum,'' she says. The blonde takes a little taste. ''That's definitely cum, but nobody in our building.''
A blonde woman walks into a store and asks the clerk about the TV in the corner. The clerk says, "Sorry ma'am, we don't serve blondes." Irritated, the woman goes home and dyes her hair black. The next day she comes back and asks again. The clerk again says, "Sorry ma'am, we don't serve blondes." Furious, the woman goes home and dyes her hair red this time. The next day she goes to the store and there's a different clerk there. She asks the clerk about the TV. The clerk replies, "Sorry ma'am, we don't serve blondes." The woman asks him, "How did you know I am a blonde?" The clerk says, "Because that's not a TV, it's a microwave."
A blonde walks into the library. She walks up to the counter, SLAMS a book down and screams at the librarian, "This is the WORST book I've ever read! It has NO plot and far too many characters!" The librarian looks up and calmly remarked, "So, you're the one who took our phone book!"