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The best jokes and joke writers!

A Blonde Gets Robbed

A blonde phoned police to report that thieves had been in her car. "They've stolen the dashboard, the steering wheel, the brake pedal, even the accelerator," she cried out. However, before the police investigation could start, the phone rang a second time and the same voice came over the line. "Never mind, I got in the back seat by mistake."

Mileage

A blonde wanted to sell her old car, but nobody wished to buy a car with 250,000 miles on it. So, she tells her brunette girlfriend at the salon about her problem, and the brunette suggests she take the car to a mechanic friend of hers, who will turn the meter back by 200,000 miles. The blonde thinks this is a sound suggestion and does so. About a month later, the brunette sees her blonde girlfriend in a store and says, "Did you ever sell your car?" "No," says the blonde. "Why should I? It's only got 50,000 miles on it."

Blonde and Her Jelly

A guy asked his blonde girlfriend, "So how's your breakfast this morning?"

"It's very good, except for the Kentucky Jelly. I can't seem to get used to the taste" the she replied.

He asked to see what she put on her breakfast, and she handed him a tube labeled "KY Jelly."

Phone Call

"Hi Mom, it's me." "Hi Sally, are you okay? I thought you were with your father at the hardware store, looking for a drill." "Yeah, I was, but I got arrested and they've let me make one phone call, and that's why I'm calling you." "Oh my God, what happened?"

"Oh, I punched this African-American woman in the face." "What on earth . . . Why did you do that?"

"Well, it really wasn't my fault. Dad told me to find a Black and Decker. Mom, I knocked the shit out of her!"

Dandruff

A blonde and a brunette were talking one day. The brunette said that her boyfriend had a slight dandruff problem, but she gave him 'Head & Shoulders' and it cleared up.  

The blonde asked inquisitively, "How do you give shoulders?"