What Do You Call A Gay Bar That Has No Chairs?

Q: What do you call a gay bar that has no chairs?-
A: A fruit stand.

The Consumption of Alcohol

• The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.
• The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like an idiot.
• The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.
• The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.
• The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.
• The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.
• The consumption of alcohol may make you think you have mystical Kung Fu powers, resulting in you getting your ass kicked.
• The consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary.
• The consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead/knees.
• The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.
• The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible.
• The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.

Elephants In A Pub

Q: How do you know if there are two elephants in the pub?
A: There is a dent in the cross-bar.