Descartes in a Bar

René Descartes is sitting in a bar. The bartender asks if he'd like another pint.
"I think not," he answers, and disappears.

Fault and Symptoms of Drinking

Symptom: Drinking fails to satisfy and the front of your shirt is wet.
Fault: Mouth not open when drinking or glass applied to wrong part of face.
Symptom: Feet cold and wet.
Fault: Glass being held at incorrect angle.
Symptom: Feet warm and wet.
Fault: Improper bladder control.
Symptom: Floor blurred.
Fault: You are looking through bottom of empty glass.
Symptom: Floor moving.
Fault: You are being carried out.
Symptom: Everyone looks hideous.
Fault: Either you haven't had enough to drink, or they've flipped on the lights for last call.

Bar Visit

A guy walks into a bar with 10 bucks and asks what he can get
The bartender says, "You can get those damn deer the fuck outta my bar!"