Level Drummer's Platform

Q: How can you tell if the drummer's platform is level?
A: Drool is coming out of both sides of his mouth.

Bagpiper Mad At The Drummer

Q: Why did the bagpiper get mad at the drummer?
A: He moved a drone and wouldn't tell him which one.

Five Pound Note

Q: There's note on the floor; who picks it up? The thrash guitarist, the drummer who keeps good time, or the drummer who keeps bad time?
A: The drummer who keeps bad time, because the other drummer doesn't exist, and the thrash guitarist doesn't care about notes anyway.