We're sorry, but it appears that you are using an anonymous proxy. To prevent fraudulent voting, we don't allow votes from anonymous proxies.

This contest requires users to be registered in order to vote.

You must be a registered user to submit a joke.  But registering is FREE and don’t worry, we only need a name and e-mail address, and we don’t sell or share your information with any third-parties (see Privacy Policy).

You must complete account validation before submitting jokes. Click here to go to your profile page to complete the process.

We’re sorry, but your browser settings indicate that you don’t want to be tracked.  You can either disable that setting or simply register for a FREE account, so we’ll know that you want us to track your preferences and feedback.  Don’t worry, we only need a name and e-mail address and we don’t sell or share your information with any third-parties (see Privacy Policy).


The best jokes and joke writers!

Chainsaw and Bari-sax

Q:  How do you make a chainsaw sound like a bari-sax?

A:  Add vibrato.

Oboe Jokes

Q: How do you get five oboes in tune?

A: Shoot four of them.

Q: What are burning oboes used for?

A: To set bassoons on fire.

Q: Why does an oboist always have to fight for correct intonation?

A: Because most oboes are full of holes.

Q: How do you make an oboist play a sustained A-flat?

A: Steal his batteries.

Five Pound Note

Q: There's note on the floor; who picks it up? The thrash guitarist, the drummer who keeps good time, or the drummer who keeps bad time?

A: The drummer who keeps bad time, because the other drummer doesn't exist, and the thrash guitarist doesn't care about notes anyway.

How Late Does The Bagpipe Band Play

Tom: "Hey, Buddy. How late does the bagpipe band play?"

Buddy: "Oh, about a half beat behind the drummer."

Turned A Peg

Q: Why did the bass player get mad at the timpanist?

A: He turned a peg and wouldn't tell the bass player which one.