Q: How do you fix a broken tuba?
A: With a "tuba glue"
Q: Why did they let the turkey join the band?
A: Because he had his own drumsticks!
Where are We?
Fritz Kriesler and Rachmaninov had a recital in Carnegie Hall. In the middle of the music, Kriesler got lost and turned around to ask Rachmaninov, "Where are we?"
Rachmaninov said, "Carnegie Hall, sir!"
I listened to All Star so many times it gave me tinnitus.
Now, my ears start humming and they don't stop humming.
Lightening Strikes Twice
Q: How is lightning like a violist's fingers?
A: Neither one strikes in the same place twice.