Clinton's Favorite Instrument
Q: What is Bill Clinton's favorite instrument?
A: The WhoreMonica!
- If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
- When someone asks you, "A penny for your thoughts," and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny?
- Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
- Why do croutons come in airtight packages? It's just stale bread to begin with.
- When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?
- Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who drives a race car is not called a racist?
- Why are wise man and a wise guy opposites?
- Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?
- If horrific means to make horrible, does terrific mean to make terrible?
- Why isn't 11 pronounced onety one?
All of the following songs may be played on a touch-tone phone. Commas are pauses, and hyphens are held notes.
- Mary Had A Little Lamb- 3212333, 222, 399, 3212333322321 or3212333, 222, 133, 3212333322321
- Jingle Bells- 333, 333, 39123, 666-663333322329, 333, 333, 39123, 666-6633, 399621
- Frere Jacques- 1231, 1231, 369, 369, 9*9631, 9*9631, 111, 111
- Olympic Fanfare- 3-9-91231, 2222-32112312, 3-9-91231, 2222-32112321
- The Butterfly Song- 963, 23621, 3693236236932362, 963, 23621
- Happy Birthday- 112, 163, 112, 196, 110, 8521, 008, 121
Constitipation - Composer
Did you hear about the constipated composer? He got stuck on his last movement.
Q: What do you say after you run an army officer over with a steam roller?
A: See flat major.