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The best jokes and joke writers!

The Ugly Baby on a Bus

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says, "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!" The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming.  She says to a man next to her, "The driver just insulted me!" The man says, "You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."

Can You Help Me?

A very homely person made an appointment with a psychiatrist. The homely person walked into the doctor's office and said, "Doctor, I'm so depressed and lonely. I don't have any friends, no one will come near me and everybody laughs at me. Can you help me accept my ugliness?".  "I'm sure I can.", the psychiatrist replied,  "Just go over and lie face down on that couch."

Yo Mama - Tail

Yo mama so ugly, the last time I saw something that looked like her, I pinned a tail on it.

Bad Example

A teacher says, “Okay, class. Today we're going to be talking about the tenses. If I say, I'm beautiful, which tense is it?”
Little Johnny raises his hand and says, “Obviously past tense, Miss.”

Yo Mama - Santa

Yo mama so ugly, she wore a paper sack when you went to see Santa so he wouldn't cry for the photo.