Appearance Jokes - Ugly Jokes

Yo mama so ugly, when she cries, the tears run down her back.

Yo mama so ugly, her hairline is receding just to get away from her face.

A recent article in the Dominion Post reported that Nancy Pelosi sued Wellington hospital saying that after her husband had surgery there he lost all interest in sex.  A hospital spokesman replied, "Your husband was admitted for cataract surgery.  All we did was to correct his eyesight."

A construction worker was whistling and verbally harassing a young girl as she walked by the construction site. She completely ignored him, and just kept on walking. Annoyed the worker yelled "Well you're an ugly bitch anyway!" The girl turned around and replied "It must be terrible when even an ugly bitch won't give you the time of day?"

A bus full of ugly people dies and await their fates at the pearly gates. An angel stands guard with a clipboard and explains a mistake's been made and that it's not their time yet. As compensation, each individual receives a wish and will also be brought back to life. One by one, the ugly people tell the angel of the perils of being ugly and wish for good looks. Much to the chagrin of the angel, as the line grows shorter, a roaring laughter booms from the very back of the line. Finally, the man responsible gets his turn, now rolling on the floor in hysterics. With no one else in line, the man shouts in between breaths, "I wish they were all ugly again!"