Appearance Jokes - Ugly Jokes

Duck Heaven

Once upon a time there was three sisters that went to duck heaven. St. Patrick welcomed them and said, "We are happy to have you here in Duck Heaven, but I warn you if you step on a duck in Duck Heaven you will be chained to the ugliest man on Earth!" So, the three girls were really careful where they stepped. After a week the first girl stepped on a duck... so, she was chained to the ugliest man on Earth! After a month the second sister stepped on a duck... so, she was chained to the second ugliest man on the Earth! After a year in Duck Heaven the third sister never ever stepped on a duck so St. Patrick said, "You have been very good here in Duck Heaven so we have a treat for you!" So, she was chained to the most handsome and perfect man on the Earth! "What did I do to deserve you?" she asked the man. "Well I don't know about you lady," replied the man. "But I stepped on a duck!!!"

Categories: Animal Jokes (Duck Jokes) , Jokes about Families (Sister Jokes) , Religion Jokes (Heaven Jokes) , Appearance Jokes (Ugly Jokes)
Anonymous

God Created Alcohol

Q: Why did God create alcohol?
A: So ugly people could have sex, too.

Categories: Appearance Jokes (Ugly Jokes) , Sex Jokes , Alcohol Jokes , Riddles
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Submitted BY: juliettaylor

Nude Sunbathing

A man was sunbathing naked at the beach. For the sake of civility, and to keep it from getting sunburned, he had a hat over his privates. A woman walks past and says, snickering, "If you were a gentleman you'd tip your hat."
He raised an eyebrow and replied, "If you weren't so ugly, it would tip itself."

Categories: Appearance Jokes (Ugly Jokes) , Relationship Jokes (Man Criticizes Woman)
Anonymous