Skeleton Church Music

Q: Why can't skeletons play music in church?
A: Because they've got no organs.

Ugly Dresses

Some women hold up dresses that are so ugly and they always say the same thing: This looks much better on.' On what? On fire?"

Large Violas

Q: Why are violas so large?
A: It is an optical illusion. It's not that the violas are large, just that the viola player's heads are so small.