Pirate's Piercings

Q: How much does it cost a pirate to pierce his ears?
A: A buck an ear.

Yo Mama - Scrawny

Yo mama so scrawny she makes skinny jeans look fat.

Joined a Nudist Camp

A guy joined a nudist camp and when he told his mom she didn't believe him. So he sent her a picture of his top half. A week later his grandma wanted a picture but he accidentally sent the bottom half. Knowing she had bad eyesight, he didn't think much of it. A week later his grandma wrote a letter saying, that she didn't like his haircut, because it made his nose look too big.