Babe on the Balcony

This guy is standing outside on his balcony on the 5th floor of his apartment when he spots this gorgeous babe sunbathing on the 3rd floor balcony wearing the skimpiest bathing suit he's ever seen. He watches her for 3 days straight, and can't stand it any longer. He sends down a note on a piece of string: ''If you want me to make love to you please pull on the string once. If not please pull slowly 20 times and then faster another 10."

Skeleton Church Music

Q: Why can't skeletons play music in church?
A: Because they've got no organs.

Ugly Dresses

Some women hold up dresses that are so ugly and they always say the same thing: This looks much better on.' On what? On fire?"