Yo Mama - Left Arm

Yo mama so fat, her measurements are 36-24-26, and that's just her left arm.

Yo Mama - Apology Letter

Yo mama so ugly that your birth certificate was an apology letter from the Trojan man.

Firm This Up

One morning, while she was making breakfast, the local fitness freak walked up to his wife, pinched her on the bum and said, "You know dear if you firmed this up we could get rid of your girdle." This was a bit over the limit, but she controlled herself and replied with silence. Next morning the man woke his wife with a pinch on the breast. "You know love if you firmed these up we could get rid of your bras." That was too far over the limit. She rolled over and grabbed him by the penis. Maintaining a vice grip, she whispered in his ear, "You know dear if you firmed this up we could get rid of the postman, the pool man, the gardener and your brother."