Well, How Do I Look?

The Top Bad Response For Guys To Give To The "How Do I Look" Question

1. "That's a great outfit honey but Halloween was 6 weeks ago."
2. "I ain't seen a caboose that big since Amtrak left town."
3. "Uh-uh, the last time I answered that question, I went temporarily blind."
4. "Ssshhh, the games on right now... go look in the mirror, that's what its there for!!"
5. "Oh man, I'm gonna lose my lunch."
6. "Like the girl I was with yesterday."
7. "Like someone in dire need for some liposuction."
8. "Well, if I close my eyes, just like my previous, prettier girlfriend."
9. "How can I put this... MOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" 

Suck It In

I noticed my husband standing on the bathroom scale, sucking in his ample stomach. Thinking he was trying to weigh less with this maneuver, I quipped, "I don't think that is going to help much, hon?" "Sure it does," he said. "How else can I can see the numbers!"

Yo Mama - Tanning Bed

Yo mama so fat she uses Mexico as her tanning bed.