Buddy System

My friend Julie announced that she had started a New Years diet to lose some pounds she had put on over the holidays. "Good!" I exclaimed. "I’m ready to start a diet too. We can be dieting buddies and help each other out. When I feel the urge to drive out and get a burger and fries, I’ll call you first."
"Great!" she replied. "I’ll ride with you."

First Sight

I'll never forget the first time I saw my husband. He was standing on a hill, his hair blowing in the breeze, and he was too proud to run after it.

Yo Mama - Tonsils

Yo' Mama's teeth are so yellow, her tonsils wear sunglasses.