Old Man's Peanuts

An old man and a young man work together in an office. The old man always has a jar of peanuts on his desk, and the young man really loves peanuts. One day, while the old man is away from his desk, the young man yields to temptation and scarfs down over half of the contents of the jar. When the old man returns, the young man feels guilty and confesses to his crime. "Don't worry, son. I never eat the peanuts anyway," the old man replies. "Since I lost my teeth, all I can do is gum chocolate off the M&M's."

A Dikfer on Your Head

"Hey, there's a dikfer on your forehead?" "A what?" "A dikfer." "What's a dikfer?" "Well, if you don't know I'm not gonna tell you."

Aftermath of Thanksgiving

You'll be so fat after Thanksgiving the next time you see 90210 will be on a bathroom scale.