Three Dogs at the Vet
Three dogs were at the vet talking to each other, when they got to the topic of why they were there.
The first dog says, "I chewed up all my masters shoes, and that's why I'm here."
The second dog said, "I peed on my masters $1,000 rug."
The third dog then pipes up and says, "My master is a woman and she likes to clean house in the nude. So today, when she bent over to pick something up, I went for the ride of a life time!"
"And that's why you're here?" asked the other dogs.
"No," replied the third. "I'm getting my nails clipped."
Q: What did the dog say when it sat on sandpaper?
Q: How did the little Scottish dog feel when he saw a monster?
Q: What do you get if you cross a computer and a Rottweiler?
A: A computer with a lot of bites!
Give The Dog A Bone
Q: How do you give a dog a bone?
A: Tickle its balls.