Policeman Encounters Seeing Eye Dog

A policeman was directing traffic at a busy intersection when he observed a blind man and his seeing-eye dog waiting to cross. To his horror, he watched as the seeing-eye dog bolted across the street, dragging the blind man behind him. On the other side of the road, the man pulled out a cookie and offered it to his dog. The officer ran to the blind man and said, "Don't you realize your dog could have killed you, and now you're going to reward him?" The blind man said to the policeman, "Why, no sir, I'm just trying to find out where his head is so I can kick his ass."

Lizard On A Diet

Q: Why did the lizard go on a diet?
A: It weighed too much for its scales!

Chicken Stick

Q: If fruit grows on a fruit tree, then what does chicken grow on?
A: A Poul-try