Animal Jokes

LOL with a rich selection of very funny animal jokes. Jokerz has the best collection of animal jokes, check out our animal jokes and laugh away!

Hey Lady...

A lady is walking down the street to work and she sees a parrot in a pet store. The parrot says to her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly." Well, the lady is furious! And she storms past the store to her work. On the way home she saw the same parrot in the window and the parrot said to her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly." Well, she was incredibly ticked now. The next day see saw the same parrot and the parrot said to her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly." The lady was so ticked that she went into the store and said that she would sue the store and kill the bird. The store manager said, "That's not good." and promised he wouldn't say it again. When the lady walked past the store after work the parrot said to her, "Hey lady." She paused and said, "Yes?" and the bird said, "You know."

Categories: Animal Jokes (Bird Jokes) , Insult Jokes (Ugly Insult Jokes) , Appearance Jokes (Ugly Jokes) , Word Play Jokes
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Anonymous

Cow for Lunch

Q: Where do cows go for lunch?
A: The 'calfeteria'.

Categories: Animal Jokes (Cow Jokes) , Riddles (Riddles for Kids)
Anonymous

Just Use Nair

My wife found out that our dog (a Giant Schnauzer) could hardly hear, so she took it to the veterinarian. The vet found that the problem was hair in the dog's ears.
He cleaned both ears, and the dog could then hear fine. The vet then proceeded to tell Andrea that, if she wanted to keep this from recurring, she should go to the store and get some "Nair" hair remover and rub it in the dog's ears once a month.
Andrea went to the store and bought some "Nair" hair remover. 
At the register, the pharmacist told her, "If you're going to use this under your arms, don't use deodorant for a few days."
Andrea said, "I'm not using it under my arms." *
The pharmacist said, "If you're using it on your legs, don't use body lotion for a couple of days."
Andrea replied, "I'm not using it on my legs either. If you must know, I'm using it on my Giant Schnauzer." 
The pharmacist said, "Well, then stay off your bicycle for at least a week.

Categories: Disease / Afflictions Jokes , Animal Jokes (Dog Jokes) , Profession Jokes (Pharmacist Jokes) , Profession Jokes (Veterinarian Jokes ) , Word Play Jokes
Anonymous