Alcohol Jokes - Whiskey Jokes

Whiskey Duck

So Daffy Duck and Elmer Fudd break into a distillery.
Daffy turns to Elmer and says: "Is this Whiskey?"
Elmer says: "Yeth, but not as whiskey as wobbing a bank!"

Categories: Alcohol Jokes (Whiskey Jokes)
Submitted BY: MEG

15 Signs You Drank Too Much

15. You spent Sunday night in jail for cow-tipping... with your Oldsmobile.
14. Although armed with fire extinguishers, friends stood at a safe distance as you blew out your birthday candles.
13. Thanks to you, Jack Daniels stock is up 15 1/4 since Friday.
12. Boris Yeltsin called personally to ask you to slow down on the Stoli.
11. For some reason, there's salt on the rim of your basketball goal.
10. Your name is Otis and Sheriff Andy has brought you some of Aunt Bea's pancakes.
9. For the money you spent on Thunderbird, you could've bought the automobile.
8. You're now the proud inventor of the "Slim Jim": Ultra Slim-Fast shakes made with Jim Beam.
7. Answering machine full of warnings from Coach Switzer.
6. Absolut wants to run an ad featuring a picture of your liver in the shape of a bottle.
5. Yet again, dry cleaner employees greet you with, "Hey, it's Vomit Man!"
4. The doorman asks for your I.D. just to see how long it'll take you to find your pants.
3. Your liver, in a fit of pique, leaps out of your abdominal cavity into a pan of frying onions.
2. Worried friends call Monday morning to make sure you returned the goat. 
1. You're now sober enough to realize "Drink Canada Dry" is a slogan and not a personal challenge.

Categories: Alcohol Jokes (Shots Jokes) , Alcohol Jokes (Vodka Jokes) , Alcohol Jokes (Whiskey Jokes) , Funny Thoughts , Bar Jokes (Drunk Jokes) , Bar Jokes
Anonymous

Whiskey Diet

Q: Did you hear about the new whiskey diet?
A: I've lost three days already.

Categories: Alcohol Jokes (Whiskey Jokes) , Riddles
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Submitted BY: Anonymous