The worm's got a salmon by the throat

MacAndrews was visiting his Irish cousin, O'Bannon. While there he decided to do a bit of fishing. As he sat there one afternoon, his cousin walked by. "What are ye doing?" asked O'Bannon. "Fishin'," said MacAndrews. "Caught anything?" "Ach, nae a bite," "What are ye usin' fer bait?" "Worms" "Let me see it," said O'Bannon. MacAndrews lifted the line from the water and handed it to his cousin. O'Bannon took out his flask of potcheen and dipped the worm in it. He handed it back to MacAndrews, who cast his line once more. As soon as the worm hit the water, his rod bent over double, the line screaming out. "Have ye got a bite?" asked O'Bannon. "No!" shouted MacAndrews, fighting with the rod, "The worm's got a salmon by the throat!"

Cold Remedy

A remedy for the common cold suggested by Dr. Richard Gordon, from the Atlantic Monthly:

At the first sign of a cold, go to bed with a bottle of whiskey and a hat. Place the hat on the left-hand bedpost. Take a drink of whiskey and move the hat to the right-hand bedpost. Take another drink and shift the hat back again. Continue this until you drink the whiskey but fail to move the hat. By then, the cold is probably cured.

Whisky Cure

I'm on a whisky diet.
Have already lost three days.