Christmas Wine

Q: What's the most popular wine at Christmas?
A: "I don't like sprouts!"

Free Drinks for Everyone

One night, a drunk comes stumbling into a bar and says to the bartender: "Drinks for all on me including you, bartender." So the bartender follows the mans orders and says: "That will be $36.50 please." The drunk says he has no money so the bartender slaps him around and throws him out. The next night the same drunk comes in again and orders a drink for everyone in the bar including the bartender. Again the bartender follows instructions and again the drunk says he has no money. So the bartender slaps him around and throws him out. On the third night he comes in, the drunk orders drinks for all except the bartender. "What, no drink for me?" replies the bartender. "Oh, no. You get violent when you drink."

A Babtist and a Catholic Preacher

A Baptist preacher and a Catholic priest are driving out on a road. The Catholic priest sees a cat in the middle of the road, and slams on his brakes. The cat is avoided, but the Baptist preacher hits the back of the Catholic priest. They step out of their cars, and begin talking. "Oh, I am so sorry, that was my fault," says the Baptist preacher. While waiting for the cops after they called by cell phone, the preachers soon start talking about their professions to pass the time. "You know, I never understood why Catholic priests don't drink wine to represent Christ's blood." The Catholic priest responds, "Well, we believe that drinking wine is wrong, and just use grape juice instead." "I have a bottle of wine in my glove compartment right now. Tell you what, let's drink a little right now while waiting for the cops." "Oh, no I couldn't, replies the Catholic, but after pressuring him, the Catholic priest soon agrees. The Baptist preacher takes out the wine and a couple of Dixie cups, and pours a little into each. The Catholic priest drinks it down quickly. "That wasn't that bad, you're right," the Catholic priest says. Noticing the baptist hasn't drank his wine, he asks, "Aren't you going to have some?" "Oh sure," the other replies, "I'll wait until after the cops come though."