Alcohol Jokes

"They call my husband 'The Exorcist." "Why?" "As soon as he gets to a party, he rids it of all the spirits."

An insect falls into a mug of beer.
English Man: Throws his mug of beer on the floor and walks out.
American Man: Takes out the insect and drinks the beer.
Chinese Man: Eats the insect and throws away the beer.
Indian Man: Sells the insect to the Chinese and the beer to the Englishman and buys himself a new mug of beer.
Pakistani Man: Accuses the Indian of throwing the insect into his mug, relates the issue to Kashmir, asks the Chinese for military aid and takes a loan to buy another mug of beer.

Q: What do you get if you cross a glow worm with some beer?

A: Light ale!

Four worms were placed into four separate jars. The first worm was put into a jar of alcohol. The second worm was put into a jar of cigarette smoke. The third worm was put into a jar of sperm. The fourth worm was put into a jar of soil. After one day:
First worm - dead Second worm - dead. Third worm - dead. Fourth worm - alive. Lesson: As long as you drink, smoke and have sex, you won't get worms!

Old homebreweres never die, they just ferment away