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The best jokes and joke writers!

Smooth Flying

Taxiing down the tarmac, the jetliner abruptly stopped, turned around and returned to the gate. After an hour long wait, it finally took off. A concerned passenger asked the flight attendant, "What was the problem?" "The pilot was bothered by a noise he heard in the engine," he explained... "It took us awhile to find a new pilot."

Cabin Lights

Thirty minutes before a plane landed, its cabin lights came on, indicating to the flight attendants that breakfast could be served. One of the passengers, upset because he was awakened, growled, "Who turned on the fucking lights!" "Oh, no sir," the nearest flight attendant replied. "Those are the breakfast lights. You slept through the 'fucking lights.'"

Heavy Luggage

A businessman was having a tough time lugging his lumpy, oversized travel bag onto the plane. Helped by a flight attendant, he finally managed to stuff it in the overhead bin. "Do you always carry such heavy luggage?" she sighed. "No more," the man said. "Next time, I'm riding in the bag, and my partner can buy the ticket!"

Flat Earth

Q: How do Flat-Earthers travel?

A: On a plane...

Jump Out of the Plane

An Englishman, Frenchman, Mexican, and Texan were flying across country on a small plane when the pilot comes on the loud speaker and says " We're having mechanical problems and the only way we can make it to the next airport is for 3 of you to open the door and jump. At least one of you can survive" The four open the door and look out below. The Englishman takes a deep breath and hollers "God Save The Queen" and jumps.The Frenchman gets really inspired and hollers "Viva La France" and he also jumps.This really pumps up the Texan so he hollers "Remember the Alamo" and he grabs the Mexican and throws him out of the plane.