Yo Momma Jokes - Plane Trip Jokes

Expert on Parenting

The following is a true story written by an educational psychologist and her experience on a plane.
On a flight to Florida, I was preparing my notes for one of the parent - education seminars I conduct as an educational psychologist. The elderly woman sitting next to me explained that she was returning to Miami after having spent two weeks visiting her six children, 18 grandchildren and ten great-grandchildren in Boston. Then she inquired what I did for a living. I told her, fully expecting her to question me for free professional advice. Instead she sat back, picked up a magazine and said, "If there's anything you want to know, just ask me."

Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Trouble with plane engines

While cruising at 36,000 feet, the airplane shuddered and a passenger looked out the window.  "Oh no!" he screamed, "One of the engines just blew up!" Other passengers left their seats and came running over.  Suddenly the aircraft was rocked by a second blast as yet another engine exploded on the other side. The passengers were in a panic now and even the stewardesses couldn't maintain order.
Just then, standing tall and smiling confidently, the pilot strode from the cockpit and assured everyone that there was nothing to worry about. His words and his demeanor seemed made most of the passengers feel better and they sat down as the pilot calmly walked to the door of the aircraft. There, he grabbed several packages from under the seats and began handing them to the flight attendants. Each crew member attached the package to their backs. "Say", spoke up an alert passenger, "Aren't those parachutes?". The pilot confirmed that they were. The passenger went on, "But I thought you said there was nothing to worry about?".  "There isn't," replied the pilot as a third engine exploded. "We're going to get help."

Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

New Slogans For Value Jet

  • When you just can't wait for the world to come to you.
  • We're Amtrak with wings.
  • Join our frequent near-miss program.
  • On flights, every section is a smoking section.
  • Ask about our out-of-court settlements.
  • Our staff has had lots of experience consoling next-of-kin.
  • Are our jet engines too noisy? Don't worry. We'll turn them off.
  • Complimentary champagne during free-fall.
  • Enjoy the in-flight movie in the plane next to you.
  • The kids will love our inflatable slides.
  • You think it's so easy, get your own plane!
  • Which will fall faster, our stock price or our planes?
  • Our pilots are all terminally ill and have nothing to lose.
  • We may be landing on your street.
  • Terrorists are afraid to fly with us.
  • Bring a bathing suit.
  • Some airlines are content to fly thousands of feet over landmarks. We try to get as close as possible for the best view.
  • That guy who crashed into the White House was one of our best pilots.
  • Find out there really is a God.
  • A real man lands where he wants to.

Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous