Pilot in Trouble

A young blonde pilot is taking her first flying lesson in a two-seater plane. Her instructor suffers a sudden heart attack and dies.
"May day! May day! Help me! Help me! My instructor pilot is dead and I don't know how to fly!"
She hears a voice over the radio saying, "This is Air Traffic control. We can hear you loud and clear. I'll talk you through this and get you back on the ground safely. I've had a lot of experiences with this kind of problem. Now just take a deep breath. Everything will be fine! Give me your height and position."
The blonde replies, "I'm 5'7 and in the front seat."
(After a long pause)
"Okay," says the the voice in the radio, "Now repeat after me.....Our Father Who art in heaven...."

Old Pilots

OLD PILOTS never die, they just go to a higher plane

Airline Food?!

Tower: "Delta 702, cleared for takeoff, contact Departure on 124.7"
Delta 702: "Tower, Delta 702 switching to Departure ... by the way, as we lifted off we saw some kind of dead animal on the far end of the runway."
Tower: "Southwest 635, cleared for takeoff, contact Departure on 124.7 ... did you copy the report from Delta?"
Southwest 635: "Southwest 635, cleared for takeoff ... and yes, we copied Delta and we've already notified our caterers."