Amish Mechanic

Q: What would you call an Amish guy with his arm up a horse's ass?
A: A Mechanic.

Ball Point Pen

When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ball-point pens would not work in zero gravity.
To combat this problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion developing a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to over 300° C.

The Russians use a pencil.

11 Business One Liners

1. In every work of genius we recognize our rejected thoughts.
2. In order to get a loan, you must first prove you don't need it.
3. In spite of all evidence to the contrary, the entire universe is composed of only two basic substances: magic and lies.
4. In the fight between you and the world, back the world.
5. Incompetence is a double-edged banana.
6. Influence is like a savings account. The less you use it, the more you've got. - Andrew Young, American politician
7. Inspiration and perspiration are related by more than rhyme.
8. Intelligence is a tool to be used towards a goal, and goals are not always chosen intelligently. - Larry Niven 'Protector'
9. Interchangeable parts won't.
10. Incompetence knows no barriers of time or place.
11. It may be that your whole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.