Doctor

Q: "What do you want to be when you grow up?"
A: "A doctor."
Q: "And why's that?"
A: "Because it's the only profession where you can tell women to take off their clothes and then stick their husbands with the bill."

National Pastime

Show me a man that thinks baseball is the national pastime and I'll show you a man who never played doctor when he was a kid!

Who's Got My Pen?

A doctor walked into a bank; preparing to endorse a check, he pulled a rectal thermometer out of his shirt pocket and tried to write with it. Realizing his mistake, he looked at the thermometer with annoyance and said, "Well that's great, just great...some asshole's got my pen."