Profession Jokes - Other Doctor Jokes
John went to Dr. Smith because of intense migraine headaches. The doctor tried many things, but no relief. Finally, after many visits, the doc sat down and said, "You know, John, why don't you try something unusual. Why don't you do something that I always do when I have a headache like that. I phone my wife and tell her I'm coming home. She waits for me in the bedroom, with her blouse off, and I nestle my head between those two beautiful breasts and soon the headache disappears! You ought to try something like that-- I don't know what else to do for you. It wouldn't hurt." "Well I might try something like that," said John. A month later, John is back in the clinic, seeing another doctor on another unrelated matter, and he and Dr. Smith pass each other in the hallway. "John!" says the doc, "Haven't seen you in a while! How are those headaches?" "Great! They're all gone! Thanks for your advice!" said John. "Hey, that's fantastic!" said Dr. Smith, walking on down the hallway. "Say, Doc!" yelled John, down the hall, "Nice place you got there!"
A biker goes to the doctor with hearing problems. The Doctor says, "Can you describe the symptoms to me?" The biker replies, "Yes, Homer is a fat yellow lazy bastard and Marge is a skinny bird with big blue hair!"
You Should Diet
Trish: My stomach is getting awfully big, doctor.
Doctor: You should diet.
Trish: Really? What color?
Q: Which fish can perform operations?
A: A sturgeon.
Put Me Into A Fighting Mood
Patient: Doctor, what I need is something to stir me up; something to put me in a fighting mood. Did you put something like that in this prescription?
Doctor: No need for that. You will find that in your bill.