Profession Jokes - Other Doctor Jokes
The Blonde Flu
A blonde walks into a doctor's office and says, "Doc, I'm horribly sick!" The doctor looks at her and asks, "Flu?" "No, I drove here."
A woman is laying on a gurney out in the hall prior to going to surgery. A man in a white coat comes by, lifts up the sheet, and then leaves. This happens a second time. The third time this happens, she says, "Doctor, am I going into surgery soon?" The man replies, "Don't ask me lady. I'm just a painter!"
John went to Dr. Smith because of intense migraine headaches. The doctor tried many things, but no relief. Finally, after many visits, the doc sat down and said, "You know, John, why don't you try something unusual. Why don't you do something that I always do when I have a headache like that. I phone my wife and tell her I'm coming home. She waits for me in the bedroom, with her blouse off, and I nestle my head between those two beautiful breasts and soon the headache disappears! You ought to try something like that-- I don't know what else to do for you. It wouldn't hurt." "Well I might try something like that," said John. A month later, John is back in the clinic, seeing another doctor on another unrelated matter, and he and Dr. Smith pass each other in the hallway. "John!" says the doc, "Haven't seen you in a while! How are those headaches?" "Great! They're all gone! Thanks for your advice!" said John. "Hey, that's fantastic!" said Dr. Smith, walking on down the hallway. "Say, Doc!" yelled John, down the hall, "Nice place you got there!"
A biker goes to the doctor with hearing problems. The Doctor says, "Can you describe the symptoms to me?" The biker replies, "Yes, Homer is a fat yellow lazy bastard and Marge is a skinny bird with big blue hair!"
You Should Diet
Trish: My stomach is getting awfully big, doctor.
Doctor: You should diet.
Trish: Really? What color?