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The best jokes and joke writers!

Who's Got My Pen?

A doctor walked into a bank; preparing to endorse a check, he pulled a rectal thermometer out of his shirt pocket and tried to write with it. Realizing his mistake, he looked at the thermometer with annoyance and said, "Well that's great, just great...some asshole's got my pen."

Patient & Doctor

Patient: Doctor, I feel like a bridge.

Doctor: What's comes over you?

Patient: 2 trucks, 4 vans and 8 cars

Sight of Money

I was sorry to hear that a friend of mine dropped out of med school. He really wanted to be a doctor, but just couldn't stand the sight of money.

The Blonde Flu

A blonde walks into a doctor's office and says, "Doc, I'm horribly sick!" The doctor looks at her and asks, "Flu?" "No, I drove here."

Just Looking!

A woman is laying on a gurney out in the hall prior to going to surgery. A man in a white coat comes by, lifts up the sheet, and then leaves. This happens a second time. The third time this happens, she says, "Doctor, am I going into surgery soon?" The man replies, "Don't ask me lady. I'm just a painter!"