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The best jokes and joke writers!

A Wonderful Exercise

A neighbor of mine, Myron, in his mid-50's, had a relatively minorheart attack, and while he was in the hospital, he complained to his cardiologist that he thought that his sex life was over. The cardiologist said, "Not true, Myron. Sex is wonderful exercise for your heart. After you get home, you should have sex 3 or 4 times a week. It'll be the best thing you can do for your recovery." So after his discharge (from the hospital), Myron tells his wife what the doctor had said. His wife looked at him and told him, "That's wonderful, Myron! Sign me up for twice."

The Seven Most Important Men in a Woman's Life

        The Seven Most Important Men in a Woman's Life

  1. The Doctor - who tells her to "take off all her clothes."
  2. The Dentist - who tells her to "open wide."
  3. The Milkman - who asks her "do you want it in the front or the back?"
  4. The Hairdresser - who asks her "do you want it teased or blown?"
  5. The Interior Designer - who tells her "once it's inside, you'll LOVE it!"
  6. The Banker - who insists to her "if you take it out too soon, you'll lose interest!"
  7. The Primal Hunter - who always goes deep into the bush, always shoots twice, always eats what he shoots, but keeps telling her "Keep quiet and lie still!"

Bad Loan

Life stinks. I lent a guy ten grand to get plastic surgery, and now I don't know what he looks like!

Free Advice at Social Affairs?

A doctor and a lawyer were attending a cocktail party when the doctor was approached by a man who asked advice on how to handle his ulcer. The doctor mumbled some medical advice, then turned to the lawyer and remarked, "I never know how to handle the situation when I'm asked for medical advice during a social function. Is it acceptable to send a bill for such advice?" The lawyer replied that it was certainly acceptable to do so.The next day, the doctor sent the ulcer-stricken man a bill. The lawyer also sent one to the doctor.

A Surgeon, an Architect and a Politician

A surgeon and an architect, both English, were joined by an Irish politician, and all fell to arguing as to whose profession was the oldest. Said the surgeon, "Eve was made from Adam's rib, and that surely was a surgical operation." "Maybe," said the architect, "but prior to that, order was created out of chaos, and that was an architectural job." "Sure now," interrupted the politician, "but somebody created the chaos first."