We're sorry, but it appears that you are using an anonymous proxy. To prevent fraudulent voting, we don't allow votes from anonymous proxies.

This contest requires users to be registered in order to vote.

You must be a registered user to submit a joke.  But registering is FREE and don’t worry, we only need a name and e-mail address, and we don’t sell or share your information with any third-parties (see Privacy Policy).

You must complete account validation before submitting jokes. Click here to go to your profile page to complete the process.

We’re sorry, but your browser settings indicate that you don’t want to be tracked.  You can either disable that setting or simply register for a FREE account, so we’ll know that you want us to track your preferences and feedback.  Don’t worry, we only need a name and e-mail address and we don’t sell or share your information with any third-parties (see Privacy Policy).

The best jokes and joke writers!

The Second Coming

A woman takes her 16-year-old daughter to the doctor. The doctor says, "OK, Mrs. Jones, what's the problem?" The mother says, "It's my daughter, Darla. She keeps getting these cravings, she's putting on weight, and she's sick most mornings." The doctor gives Darla a thorough examination, then turns to the mother and says, "Well, I don't know how to tell you this, but your Darla is pregnant -- about four months would be my guess." The mother says, "Pregnant?!? She can't be. She has never even been left alone with a man! Have you Darla?" Darla says, "No mother! I've never even kissed a man!" The doctor walks over to the window and just stares out of it. About five minutes pass and finally the mother says, "Is there something wrong out there, doctor?" The doctor replies, "No, not really. It's just that the last time anything like this happened, a star appeared in the East and three wise men came over the hill. I'll be darned if I'm going to miss it this time!"

He's Shaky

One woman says to another, "I can't understand why you haven't gone to see that new gynecologist yet! I mean he's so young and handsome! And your gynecologist is so old!"

The other woman replies with a smile, "Yeah, I know. His hands shake all the time!"

New Virgin

A woman was going to marry one of those guys that wanted a virgin. Since she was not, she went to a doctor to reconstruct her hymen.The doctor told her it would cost around $500, but there was another way that would cost only $50.The woman agreed to try the cheap way, paid the money, and the doctor worked on her for several minutes. After the "first night" of intimacy, the woman came back to the doctor and told him that it was perfect. The pain, the blood,everything was there. And she asked him how he did it."Simple...I tied your pubic hairs together!"

Eye Repair

A baby is born and after the initial examination, the doctor returns with some news. "Ma'am," says the doctor, " I'm sorry to tell you this but your son was born without any eyelids. But, it is an easy fix." He says, "After we've circumcised him, we can surgically recreate new eyelids with his foreskin."

"Oh dear" says the new mother "but won't that make him cock-eyed?" "Yes," replies the doctor, "but he'll have excellent foresight"

Gynecologists At Lunch

Two gynecologists meet at lunch. The first one says, "I had a patient this morning with a clit like a dill pickle. The second one says, "That big or that green?" The first one says, "That Sour."