Stitches

Q: When tying a knot, what causes suture material to break?
A: The jerk on the end of the line. Every time

Depressed Proctologist

Q: Did you hear about the depressed proctologist?
A: He's been feeling down in the dumps.

Light Bulb - Computer Journalists

Q: How many computer journalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Five-one to write a review of all the existing light bulbs so you can decide which one to buy, another one to write a remarkably similar one in another magazine the next month, a third to have a big one come out on glossy paper two months later that is by then completely out of date, a fourth to hint in his/her column that a completely new and updated bulb is coming out, and the fifth to report a rumor that that new bulb is shipping with a virus.