Very Bad Private Eye

The Top Signs That You've Hired A Bad Private Eye

• Considers reading "The Hardy Boys Mysteries" actually helpful research.
• He has a pet basset hound named "Flash" that acts as his trusty assistant.
• His best disguise is wearing a hat.
• Keeps getting confused and follows you all the time.
• Won't read any messages without his trusty decoder ring.
• Dresses up like Jessica Fletcher from "Murder She Wrote" when he thinks he's caught the suspect.
• Well, he's blind.

Gathering Chickens

The farmer's son was returning from the market with the crate of chickens his father had entrusted to him, when all of a sudden the box fell and broke open. Chickens scurried off in different directions, but the determined boy walked all over the neighborhood scooping up the wayward birds and returning them to the repaired crate. Hoping he had found them all, the boy reluctantly returned home, expecting the worst.
"Pa, the chickens got loose," the boy confessed sadly, "but I managed to find all twelve of them."
"Well, you did real good, son," the farmer beamed. "You left with seven."

Perot Corn

Two farmers were talking at the general store. One farmer says to the other, "Did you hear about that new variety of corn called Perot corn?" The second farmer replies, "No I ain't." The first farmer says, "Yeah, it's a big yielding variety. The stalk don't grow too big, but the ears are tremendous!"