Profession Jokes

Jonah and the Whale

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though they were a very large mammal their throat was very small. The little girl stated Jonah was swallowed by a whale. The teacher reiterated a whale could not swallow a human it was impossible. The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah." The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?" The little girl replied, "Then you ask him."

Categories: Profession Jokes (Teacher Jokes) , Animal Jokes (Fish Jokes) , Religion Jokes (Atheist Jokes) , Religion Jokes (Heaven Jokes)
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Thanks Doc!

A patient says to his doctor, "Hey, Doc! I've been getting these migraines for a long time now! I can't think straight! I need help!" Doctor says to patient, "You know what? I used to have the same problem, and whenever I do get migraines, I go home to my wife. She cooks me my favorite meal, rubs my toes, kiss my nipples and well (smiles sheepishly), you know what happens next!"... next day... patient says, "Hey doc! Thanks for your advice. It worked!" Doctor says, "Oh really? That's good to hear!" "Oh by the way, "Patient says, "You've got a great house!"

Categories: Profession Jokes (Other Doctor Jokes) , Sex Jokes
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

High Tech Milking Machine

A farmer ordered a high-tech milking machine. It happened that the equipment arrived when his wife was away. So he decided to test it on himself first. He inserted his penis into the equipment, turned the switch on, and voila, everything else was automatic! He really had a good time as the equipment provided him with as much pleasure as his wife did. However, when the fun was over, he found that he could not take the instrument off. He read the manual, but did not find any useful information. He tried every button on the instrument - some made the equipment squeeze, shake, or suck harder or less - but still he had no success getting out of it. Panicking, he just barely reached the phone and called the supplier's customer service hotline. The farmer: "Hello, I just bought a milking machine from your company. It worked fantastic. But how can I take it off from the cow's udder?" Customer Service: "Don't worry. The machine was programmed to release automatically after collecting about 2 gallons of milk."

Categories: Animal Jokes (Cow Jokes) , Sex Jokes (Masturbation Jokes) , Profession Jokes (Farmer Jokes)
Anonymous