Finding an Elephant

Teacher: "Where would you find an elephant?"
Pupil: "You don't have to find them, they're too big to lose!"

Auditions Galore

My friend got a dozen auditions for movies in the last week. I asked him how and all he could say was, "It's this new medication." He never told me what it was, but I could safely assume that it was a fast acting drug.

Lawyers, Porsche & Porcupine

Q: What's the difference between a porcupine and a Porsche with two lawyers riding in it?
A: A porcupine has pricks on the outside.