Recruiting Day

A nurse dies and is greeted in the after life by Saint Peter. He tells her there’s a policy of allowing people to choose whether they want to spend eternity in Heaven or in Hell and she can spend a day in each before making a decision. The nurse goes to Hell for the day where she meets many old friends and colleagues in a sunny garden. They take her for an excellent dinner, and she even meets the Devil , who turns out to be pretty decent. Next day she spends a day in Heaven where she sits around on clouds, sings, and plays the harp . When Saint Peter asks what her choice is, she says, “Well, Heaven was nice, but I had a better time in Hell. So I’d like to go there please.” Her wish is granted and down to Hell she goes. When she get there she finds a desolate wasteland covered in filth and her friends, dressed in rags, collecting garbage and putting it in sacks. The Devil walks over to greet her, and the nurse says, “How could this place change so much in a day. Yesterday it was like paradise.” The Devil smiles and says, “Yes, but yesterday we were recruiting – today you’re staff.”

The Barber

A priest walked into a barber shop in Washington, D.C. After he got his haircut, he asked how much it would be. The barber said, "No charge. I consider it a service to the Lord. "The next morning, the barber came to work and there were 12 prayer books and a thank you note from the priest in front of the door. Later that day, a police officer came in and got his hair cut. He then asked how much it was. The barber said, "No charge. I consider it a service to the community. "The next morning, he came to work and there were a dozen donuts and a thank you note from the police officer. Then, a House of Representatives member came in and got a haircut. When he was done he asked how much it was. The barber said, "No charge. I consider it a service to the country."The next morning, the barber came to work and there were 12 House Democrats in front of the door.

The Problem with Lawyer Jokes

Q: Do you know what the problem is with lawyer jokes?
A: Lawyers don't think they're funny, and the rest of us don't think they're jokes!