Profession Jokes

Court Rules

A young man is in court. He's driving everyone mad with his loud and incessant chewing. The judge looks over and says "For the love of God man would you stop masticating"
To which he replies in a panicked voice "I wasn't, I wasn't, I swear, I just had my hands in my pockets"

Categories: Funny Thoughts , Profession Jokes (Judge Jokes) , Sex Jokes (Masturbation Jokes) , Word Play Jokes
Anonymous

Who Is In Control

At a recent interview, it seems that Bill Clinton broke out in rage after being asked a line of questions about him being controlled. Interviewer: "Who pulls your strings, Bill? What special interests control you?" Clinton (visibly upset): "You leave Hillary out of this!"

Categories: Political Jokes (About Democrats) , Profession Jokes (Politician Jokes) , Relationship Jokes (Man Criticizes Woman) , Relationship Jokes (Marriage Jokes)
Anonymous

Mailmans Last Day

It was George the Mailman's last day on the job after 35 years of carrying the mail through all kinds of weather to the same neighborhood.  When he arrived at the first house on his route he was greeted by the whole family there, who roundly and soundly congratulated him and sent him on his way with a tidy gift envelope. At the second house they presented him with a box of fine cigars. The folks at the third house handed him a selection of terrific fishing lures.  At the fourth house he was met at the door by a strikingly beautiful woman in a revealing negligee. She took him by the hand, gently led him through the door (which she closed behind him), and led him up the stairs to the bedroom where she blew his mind with the most passionate love he had ever experienced. When he had had enough they went downstairs, where she fixed him a giant breakfast: eggs, potatoes, ham, sausage, blueberry waffles, and fresh-squeezed orange juice. When he was truly satisfied she poured him a cup of steaming coffee. As she was pouring, he noticed a dollar bill sticking out from under the cup's bottom edge.  "All this was just too wonderful for words," he said, "but what's the dollar for?"  "Well," she said, "last night, I told my husband that today would be your last day, and that we should do something special for you.  I asked him what to give you. He said, 'Fuck him. Give him a dollar.' The breakfast was my idea!"

Categories: Profession Jokes , Sex Jokes
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Anonymous