Baby's First Words

A pregnant woman is about to give birth. The doctor has her on the delivery table, legs up in the stirrups. Suddenly, he sees the top of a head push through. Then the baby pops its head out and says to the doctor, "Are you my dad?". The doctor says, "No, I am your doctor!"  With that, the baby pops right back inside. "Damn!", says the doctor. A short while later he sees the head push through again. "Are you my dad?", asks the baby. "No, I am your doctor.", he replies. Once again the baby vanishes back into his mother's womb. The doctor turns to a nurse and says, "Nurse, get that baby's father in here right away--we may have a situation on our hands!"   Moments later the baby's father is in the delivery room, and the baby's head once again pops out. "Are you my dad?", the baby asks of the father. The father replies, "Yes, little baby, I am your father!" The baby then reaches up and begins poking his father in the forehead with his index finger-- "How do you like that?"

The Gynecologist Explains Latex Gloves

A gynecologist notices that a new patient is nervous. While putting on the latex gloves, he asks her if she knows how they make latex gloves. The patient says "no." The doctor says, "There is a plant in Mexico full of latex that people of various hand sizes dip their hands into and let them dry. She does not crack a smile, but later she laughs. The doctor says, "What's so funny?" She says, "I'm imagining how they make condoms!"

Communication Problem

A blonde is speaking to her psychiatrist. "I'm on the road a lot, and my clients are complaining that they can never reach me. The psychiatrist asked, "Don't you have a phone in your car?" The blonde explained, "That was a little too expensive, so I did the next best thing. I put a mailbox in my car." "Uh, how's that working?" he asked. "Actually, I haven't gotten any letters yet," she said. "And why do you think that is?" The blonde said, "I figure it's because when I'm driving around, my zip code keeps changing."